Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize