I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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