is this the sara with the beer cane?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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