please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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