I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
