I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
