I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
