I must be too annoying 4 u.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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