Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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