I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
