is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
