just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
