i would punch a child for taco bell
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
