I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
