I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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