Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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