What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I could fuck to npr.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
