get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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