Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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