my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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