I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize