Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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