they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
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There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
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I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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