i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
