Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
