If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
