When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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