You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
