He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
