Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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