fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize