she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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