you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
The air was thick with penises
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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