I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
