i would punch a child for taco bell
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
