Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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