She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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