:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
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you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
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You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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