Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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