just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Randomize
