airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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