One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
