I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
