Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
