Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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