A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
