Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize