so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
