some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
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I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
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Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
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