brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
