i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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