Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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