Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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