I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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