dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
