ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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