is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize
