Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
