He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
