if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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