What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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