You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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