I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
