The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
