Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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