I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
