Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize