matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
When did angry sex become our thing?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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