I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
