you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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