I will die if light touches me.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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