my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
